I am from the Philippines, but I am so much of a pure-blooded Chinese that my family can still be regarded as traditional Chinese. We are also Roman Catholics.
On November 4th, I found out that my father had been conducting sexual affairs with prostitutes, something that he still cannot accept as he keeps on insisting that they come from a “prominent family” and that they are well off. On October 3rd, I had a near mental breakdown from the pressure from school. On October 4th, I had lunch with friends as a break and my dad fetched me, carrying a gift he claimed was for a friend. (I later found out it was for the whore who was my age.) The next day was my birthday. I don’t get birthday gifts, and it REALLY doesn’t bother me. His whores borrowed a lot of money from him. He claims that we no longer have a lot of money, but he still spends on extravagant things.
My main concern here is that: do you guys really think that simply apologizing to your family for your indiscretions would suffice? That after saying you’re sorry, you’re already more than welcome to yell at your wives and your daughters, treat them like trash, talk to them like they’re the ones who made a mistake, and blame your wife if your children are unable to look you in the eye anymore without seeing the resentment?
Let me be clear: I am NOT being bias or a hypocrite or whatever. I am just trying to understand how men think because I am near my wits’ end trying to comprehend how my father can speak to my mother and me like everything’s our fault when we’re the victims.
I plan to raise this question to my therapist the next time I visit HIM. Note the pronoun. (I have been unable to sleep soundly because of the nightmares.) So, can you explain whatever your answer is, please, taking into account my nationality and religion? Because I may be adopting selective attention because of them.
Thank you. I appreciate all your answers, and I do hope that your explanations may help me understand better. I also ask that you respect my dignity and not flame me.
We are culturally different so , of course, that is going to influence my answers.
I don’t think if I messed up like that I would expect my family to forgive me and then scream and yell at them as if it were their fault.
But I will tell you that whether it’d be a man or woman that messes up and you forgive them (or act as if you do) with no consequences … well that person is going to think you’re stupid and treat as such.
That’s why women/men get cheated on over and over again.
That’s why an abusive relationship never stops being abusive.
If your family’s background stems from something in which the man leaving/or woman leaving is not acceptable..that may be why he acts like that. He knows and/or thinks you guys are not going to leave no matter what he does.
I hope this helps, and none of this was meant to be offensive.
oh my gosh,i thought that i was the only one in the same situation. my dad brought a whore from the philippines over to my house which is in america and of course that was thousands of dollars and i understand that you guys dont have much in the philippines but that doesnt mean that he cant buy me anything now and that he just has to focus on his new wife and her stupid kid. but he cant buy me anything as simple as a shirt but he can give this woman $500 a day to go shopping with!!! wat the hell is the world coming to?????? i really truly hate this woman and her kid with a passion..i know hate is a strong word but its how i feel.. so watever
I am not a male here but I have something to say too. I don’t think this can be related culture-wise, who cares what nationality or religion one has, what is important is being human and humane, and if we don’t have conscience then what is our difference with the animals. I can honestly say that men who does this stuff are generally weak men in full and bold meaning. They have hang-ups, inhibitions which can be related to their past too, men who are bossy at work but a henpecked at home, men who claims what they are not but inside they are crawling in fear, men who has no dignity, honor and shame are these kind of men, in other words they have complexes, and using their family as their shield is their front to camoufladge their true color, a man of mask. Yes until you allow him to treat you that way he will forever reign your world, your prison, and if he thinks the family is totally dependent on him then the more he abuse his authority. You have to teach him a lesson, until when you give shelter and watch yourselves under the supreme power of an evil man who can’t even fix himself…U need other relatives to help you out with this problem if there are no organizations regarding family code on what to abide and not..Cheer up, just focus now to the solution rather than the problem…Good luck!
to : E@rthGoddess
don’t be dense
the question was clearly directed to a specific sex for a reason , and the person that posed the question gave information pertaining to nationality, that is how it is relevant.
Another thing that seperated us from animals is the ability to carry a topic
Add A Comment